my shakespearean dilemma

To go out?  Or not to go out?  .....that is the question....that is ALWAYS the question.  I'm so tired of never being able to make up my mind!  I suppose it's a fortunate problem: the option to rest in a quiet home with my cozy bird on my shoulder, or mingle with various groups of awesome friends and acquaintances.  Lately I've been lamer than lame.....L-7 Weenie status.  To the max.  Seriously.  Have I been enjoying it?  Yes and no....not to the greatest potential, at least.  Anxiety, my unwanted guest, who drops in with surprise visits doesn't seem to be any less-frequent either, but I do enjoy the down-time.  And with creeping guilt resides the thought that I should be living my life to its fullest at all times.  Half the time I know what I want to do, you know, bust out my party pants and dance (and possibly but certainly not always) drink the night into oblivion.  Then regret it in the morning with a secret smile and repeat performance.  Otherwise it's Grandma Stephanie ready to darn you a pair of woolly socks, Ovaltine in hand.  When I can't decide I typically leave my decision up to the passing of Time to sabotage any realistic opportunity of being social.  So then it's just too late, I'm just too tired, and I just can't go out anymore because I've waited so long to NOT figure it out that I'm already asleep and everyone's done for the night anyway.

Man, I really need to stop doing that!!!