Wednesday, May 9, 2012

That, again.

It took me by a slowly realized surprise. 
The hollow that creeps. 
The sadness that fills with its bold void, all four chambers of my metronome core, a temporary sense of Ugh.  I went to Target today to scope out the Mother's Day card selection.  Scanning the rows for something funny or cute (oh how I so dislike the sappy stuff!), the section labeled Grandmother caught my eye.  Then my sights lingered on the Sister assortment, especially.  Cool.  Two cards I would normally buy as well, completely eliminated from my choosing this year.  And forever more. 

I didn't even expect that I didn't expect that to surprise me.  But it did.

Unavoidable tokens of others missing from life.  I love them mostly, and hate them sometimes.... the reminders.  The encouraging note from Christine I used as a bookmark, forgotten, slips out of my novel as I thumb the pages.  My grandma's earrings that I quietly feel privileged wearing glitter through my hair.  They are there and they are not.  Life takes shape, breaks down, and reforms.  Learning to hear the whispers of them, now, is the challenge is the sadness is the beauty.

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